Belly pictures

This is me at 8 weeks. Now on leave I feel so much more rested and so much better

Here I am about 6 weeks, this was right before work

Here I didn't know I was pregnant, I was already about 5 weeks here

Love at first sight

Late entry: Feb 17 2011 ~1500

"Just seeing you, seeing and hearing your heart beat... It made everything ok. Made my constant nausea, my intermittent hunger pangs, my headaches and sleepy spells all worth while. And knowing you were ok, that was the best part. I would do anything for you, anything to make sure you are healthy! I love you and I just met you."

My thoughts seeing my "baby" for the first time. The realization that there is life happening inside of me. I was just in complete in awe. My eyes welled. And this time they were tears of joy.

I still can't believe I'm going to be a mum. Sometimes I wonder, what did I ever do to deserve such an honor and such a blessing.

Two Blue Bars

Late Entry: February 9 ~1700, Orlando FL, in-laws bathroom... Just me and this test. I was terrified. Even my bladder was scared because it refused to release pee. Then when it trickled out, my hands were shivering in fear.

When I finally managed, minutes later: two blue bars.

What did it mean? Was it possible? It just could not possibly be? But the two blue bars stared back at me trying to convince me otherwise.

My eyes welled with tears. But admittedly not happy ones. Our plans, our travels, our future... I wasn't ready, WE weren't ready. We were destined for great adventures back to Australia, back to Europe and to new destinations. I just started at work, I'm a brand new nurse on the floor, I'm supposed to first get comfortable and get experience: I couldn't possibly be prepared for this on top of my already stressful job. And our house, our house is too small and our savings, our savings were not enough. We weren't ready, just not now, not so soon...

Jeffrey hugged me, happily but mainly shocked. He did what he always does in my moments of worry and extreme panic. He hugged me and said, "Everything is going to work out babe, I will take care of BOTH of you"

The future father of my unborn child. The love of my life. My lifetime partner and companion. My bestest friend in the whole wide world. I knew that if I were ever going to go through anything in my life be it big, small, scary, exciting, adventurous, or new, it was going to be with him.

I realized that the two bars meant so much more than my own selfish fears, plans or wants. The two bars were an unexpected blessing. And that this destination will be far more adventurous and exciting than anywhere we have ever cared to venture to, and that any paycheck wasn't worth the NEW job I had just been given. Nursing will be always be there, but motherhood is a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. And our house, though small, is not just a house, it is our home. And our savings, well, we still have 9 months to work on that.

The two blue bars meant the world to me. They told me I was going to be a mum.